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I’ve wondered this as well. Dating and money issues seem to be a very fine line! You want to be successful, have some sort of drive and ambition, goals, etc, but you can’t be TOO driven, goal-oriented, focused, etc or you appear narrow-minded. Have you ever seen the Millionaire Matchmaker? I’m pretty sure that show epitomizes what you’re posting about. More often than not the men don’t care how much their date makes but the women demand some sort of equality – if not in financial means at least in ambition.

Helene March 13, 2011 at 2:56 pm
For me, it’s less about the actual career ambition and professional trajectory. I think that his attitude toward his professional life is indicative of certain desirable or undesirable characteristics of his general personality. Someone who is indifferent or nonchalant about his life is hardly someone that I, personally, would get along with, let alone be keen to date. But someone who is driven and hungry, it bespeaks a certain passion for what he does, and that is attractive because it shows that he CARES about things and is willing to work hard for them. That’s something that I respect and admire; it keeps me on my toes and motivates ME to be better as well. And ultimately, that is what I’m looking for. Slackers need not apply.

Kelly March 14, 2011 at 11:27 am
Helene, thanks for sharing! I do agree about the whole slacker thing—I lived In Austin, where this was somewhat a badge of honor. These men weren’t for me.
However, I have to wonder about guys who are very happy doing what they do… delivering mail, bartending, whatever. They have interests outside their actual jobs… things they do that make them happy people, but don’t necessarily make them ambitious or motivated. It’s nice to be around happy people. But because happy slackers don’t have ambition, it was a complete turn-off for me. I think it is for most women. I guess my real question is…are we limiting our choices by being set against men who are happy, but not ambitious? Is one better than the other? Or do we assume that a man isn’t happy if he isn’t motivated career-wise?

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